Something that has been good for my soul being off Twitter (now called X, which is so dumb) is being out of touch with church drama. It took a while for the drama that still surrounds Beth Moore to reach me, and I am not sad about it. It gets old because it is just on constant repeat. It’s a pattern, and I’m not playing anymore. But, when the news did reach me, something stood out to me—her apology.
People came in with all of their takes on if she should have apologized or not. It is true, women in conservative (not just conservative, but it is amplified there) environments apologize for everything, and it is a tactic used by the abuser to get the abused to apologize. So I hear that concern, and I think Beth does over-apologize. But I also think she doesn’t apologize where she should. She has not been a friend to the LGBTQIA+ community. Her apology to their community for something she wrote that was really harsh in one of her books—Rachel Held Evans called her to account for it—was to reissue the book using softer language, even though it was saying the same thing—just nicer.
But y’all, if I could do things over again with Beth Moore knowing what I know now, I would. I would have been a lot more gracious about where she is despite what she was raised in and what formed her. We used to talk and have a great time on Twitter. I will always brag unashamedly about that. I love her. She has been a good church mother to me. I know I love my faith largely due to Beth Moore. She made Bible studies somewhat interesting for women. Back in the day, all the sermons and studies I listened to were aimed at men, and I had to sit through them because only they could speak. Then Beth Moore came along and shook things up a bit, and it changed me. This is when scripture came alive for me. But then I got a little over-zealous because she wasn’t coming around on every issue, and our relationship fizzled out. I have some regrets.
What I did not know or understand is what an extreme cult Beth Moore was a part of. She did not know it either. So the fact she could come out in 2016 and call out Donald Trump is truly remarkable. And y’all, I know my faith was saved once again because she did that. I was looking at the silence of my faith world in horror on the rise of Donald Trump, an unashamed racist and misogynist. When she spoke up, and I had not heard from her in years at this point, my soul rejoiced because there was a conservative who still had integrity and willing to speak out. I will never not be grateful for that.
She and Rachel Held Evans also mended their relationship a little. Beth Moore, even after RHE had called her to account (RHE would say this herself—it wasn’t the most gracious approach)—went and followed RHE on Twitter knowing her world was going to crucify her for it. It was because she was concerned about the attacks RHE was absorbing. Beth understood how hard that was because she had been through it herself—and she’s still absorbing it. She had to follow her in order to reach out and encourage her. And their relationship healed on some level. They were on friendly terms when RHE died.
Maybe Beth hasn’t done all I wish she would do for the LGBTQIA+ community, but she did do this for someone who was doing that work. This was a major risk Beth took, and I did not understand what was on the line for her to do that at the time. Like RHE, I had unreasonable expectations of someone who had been deeply indoctrinated in a hostile world to women, and anyone else who is not a cisgendered, white, able-bodied, straight man. RHE and I were too, but we got out earlier.
So, let’s talk about her apology. While she does not owe the SBC, including the women, an apology, I think what she says here is beautiful. She is owning some things she does need to own, and it is setting her free. Living in a world that will not apologize for anything, I think there is something for us to learn from this. This is her response to Mark Wingfield’s Baptist News article that was shared by someone who monitors SBC abuse.
Beth Moore:
This article was good for me to read for a number of reasons, not the least of which was the closing exhortation. Yes, I hear you. Yes, I needed to hear it. But a couple of things I’d like to say in response:
What I wrote in that post to Southern Baptist women had been on my heart to say for some time. How the fissure began in 2016 was so chaotic and the studies were thrown out of numerous churches so quickly that it has taken me a good deal of time to sort it all out. I may never get it all sorted out but I know the Lord has overseen it all and had purpose. I believe I did what he told me to do and am now where he meant me to be. But, man, it has been brutal.
Those words to southern Baptist women were something like you might say to a friend that you lost in a conflict years earlier after you’ve healed up a bit: “no matter what happened, I want you to know I love you so much and I’m glad for the time we spent together and I’m the better for you being in my life. Thank you.”
You were not wrong, however, to connect the apology in some respects to the Wolfe tweet. Most of the time I can let this stuff roll off my back. I know it does not come from the Spirit because people who walk with Jesus don’t treat people the way Wolfe and his ilk do.
I can easily intellectually tell myself the truth when I see things like that but I’m not sure my skin will ever be thick enough to prevent every arrow from hitting my heart. My apology was not for speaking out. I make no apologies for that and I have not changed my mind or my stand. But in 40 years of teaching, the fact is, all of us owe some apologies to the people we’ve served. We’ve said too many words. Been poor examples at times. We’ve been self-centered and we’ve let our anger dictate some of our messages. Thus much I know: I helped prop up misogyny in the denomination and helped build up trust in some systems and some leaders that were not worthy of our trust though I did not realize that was what I was doing. I do indeed owe some people I’ve served a long time an apology for any harm I brought them. It was never my intention. My desire was to do good. My desire was to be godly.
Lastly, I’d like to say that what men like William do to women is not without effect, which, of course, they know and which, of course, is why they do it. And there is a “they.” Wolfe is just saying publicly what his circle says privately. In an ideal world, we would be unaffected by those kinds of things. But we are humans here. Still breakable. Still well able to be bruised. Still bothered in the dark night by questions like, did I do them harm???
And I have to think that, if the time comes that I cannot still be wounded, my heart has grown hard and I’ll probably need to retire.
So, what to do? Take those things to the Lord and learn from them and ask him to do something good with them.
This is Mark Wingfield’s article.
There is Life Out There 