This is a fascinating book I’m reading. For years I’ve wanted to reconcile with Paul regarding misogyny-not only am I seeing a new side of Paul (or the real Paul trying to stand up now) I’m realizing he’s been treated as a Christian when he was a Jew. I’ve personally always known he was a Jew bc I knew Christianity didn’t exist, but I’ve never viewed Paul through the lens of his Jewish identity. I didn’t know to do that.

Our professor, Dr. Smith, assigned this book with rising antisemitism that partly comes from a bad theology of Paul. We have done a lot of damage with our theology of Paul. This author is a Jewish woman and scholar who teaches at a Christian university.

She’s inviting Jews and Christians alike to appreciate Paul’s religious pluralism theology. He was a Jew in a Greco-Roman world trying to make peace.

In my reconciliation with Paul, I’m finding myself more and more at odds with Luke. Whoever the author is of Luke also wrote Acts. The way history is described in Acts doesn’t match Paul’s undisputed letters. And the leverage Complementarian churches use to assert male authority over women comes from disputed letters. And there are other disputed letters portraying Paul as for women, but those got cut from the canon. No one has grasped who Paul truly is, but I’m feeling him rising and trying to reveal who he is.

As I said, my conflict with Luke is not getting better in Acts. I highly recommend Christians read this book. It’s important to understand what Acts and the Pastoral Epistles have done in our perception of Judaism -and the “distinctively Western Christian lens” that made conversion central to our identity. (Now I’m about to read a section on Augustine- pray for me).

I know this is a lot. But it’s important to face this. Abuse against women and hate crimes against Jews has grown exponentially the last few years.

Our Christian philosophy has not always produced good things. It has sometimes helped really bad things happen. As my professor said – if we want to be a better theologian – then we need to become better historians. It affects how we treat people.

I want to explain why this minister in the SBC responded to me the way he did yesterday. I am not going on Twitter getting in random fights. I actually know what I am doing, and who I need to engage.

The SBC has survivors taking on the sex abuse scandal in their org. Leadership is not helping at all. They put on a conference, that makes them money, to make it look like they are doing something about the problem. But they appointed survivors who keep their theology (won’t challenge complementarianism) to fight their own battle. And they claim it is just too hard because “church autonomy”. Never mind they wouldn’t say this if it was a woman or and LGBTQ+ minister.

I saw this survivor-one,who is working to keep Paige Patterson out of the pulpit in Florida coming up, engage this man who is a friend of Paige Patterson – if you don’t know Paige Patterson, google him, bad news! It is well-known.

I saw this man talk to her the way I have been talked to my whole life (only this time it is worse b/c it is regarding abuse). He made her doubt herself, and if she pushed him he would make her feel like she is the one being cruel and not being fair. He said I don’t care Paige has thousands of claims against him- I want evidence. They ended the convo saying “peace to you”. She is doing what women do when we feel like we are the one who has to be nice. I saw myself in her.

So I decided to say – NO! Not ok. This is not peace. The evidence on Paige Patterson is in, and I listed what is absolutely undisputed. And I told him b/c he chooses to put his friend above thousands of women who have been harmed, he is now on my list of ministers that is unsafe for my family if I see his name listed with a church.

He did not respond, but the guy (Tom) who went after me did. Then this minister, Pete, told Tom who bashed me for telling the truth, he read my link and he fears what is saying about me is true.

I don’t know what that means. Maybe they are scared b/c not only do I have a sect of Baptists hearing me. But I went and got Methodists too.

This needs to end. Women matter and are not the ones who have to compromise every time men are challenged.

The survivors are not sure what to think of me. B/c they still subscribe to complementarianism, I don’t think they appreciate me. But that is ok. It is not for accolades that I speak.

I believe the job of a minister is to defend the sheep from the wolves. And we often do not know who the wolf is until we get outside and take a wider look at reality.

Friends, I am off to a slow start. I am so tired. Everyday I come home overcome with fatigue, and I am not getting anywhere with school or work. After I write this, I am going to bed. I feel led to write this tonight b/c of the March for Life, and a predator who spoke at this event.
I am not afraid of a controversial conversation. And the discussion we had today on Paul in my NT class- now I know why. I will write on that more later. I am seeing Paul in a new way, and I like it. Paul told me he liked me on All Saints Day – I am starting to think I really like him too. But that post needs my full energy to write.
I want to talk about abortion. Even progressives are dangerous in regards to this subject. I see people trying to use the womb to tomb pro-life- which sounds great-don’t get me wrong. But abortion is complex; it fails to account for women in this scenario. Abortion is so much more than a woman wanting to abort a baby. We have reduced an extremely sensitive and complex subject to just a choice a woman can make. Let me tell you some other factors we are not considering when we flippantly talk about abortion:
1) Rape and sexual assault – we elected and Rapist-in-chief who spoke at the March for Life today. Too many people are not connecting the irony in this fact.
2) Adoption – we flippantly say adopt without considering our broken foster care system with children who don’t get adopted. They are traumatized by this conversation too. And to not even consider how hard it must be for a woman who can’t raise her child for whatever reason to just give up her baby so you will feel ok. So much of this is selfish- we want to adopt babies and not older children who might have issues we don’t want to deal with b/c of their trauma. We have to talk about this.
3) There is no agreement on when life begins amongst all people
4) High School girls who get in a bad situation, and parents will shame them and take on shame themselves. We blame the girl.
5) I would love to know how many abortions our president has paid for
6) Purity culture
7) This debate is driven by racism and xenophobia led by Jerry Falwell when he saw immigration was going to make Christianity and whiteness the minority in the future. The Religious Right wanted Jimmy Carter to take this one and he refused, so they got Reagan.
8) Sometimes it is to save the mother’s life!
9) what about handing out contraception’s ?

As you can see, abortion is layered. I did not even get to poverty. Women lose their jobs when they get pregnant. Can’t afford healthcare.

The abortion debated is deeply misogynistic. It needs advocacy and friendship – not criminalization and judgement. Policy is better than criminalizing-abortions are typically higher under GOP admins. That is ironic.

What brought this on? I tweeted last night that I am tired of sweeping generalizations about abortion. Too many faith leaders are speaking on a painful topic, and those who have had an abortion are listening. men will not engage what it is like to be a woman in America. Try Texas. Lord! This is not a woman-friendly state. Lots of women are in Complementarian churches buying the lie we are here to serve men. We use male-dominated language for the Divine.

This post has to be long because this is not a tweet size subject. I haven’t even gotten to the man who emailed me threatening me b/c of my tweet.

I am asking faith leaders to listen to me now. We have to diffuse the radicalization of the abortion debate. It is going to harm women. The most vulnerable women.

And for the love, who in the world thinks progressives love abortion. Such an asinine thing to say. Women are not the enemy. I am pro-choice b/c I believe in women.

I am not off-base here. I connect my theology to public life. The current debate led to a sexual predator speaking at a Walk for Life Rally . And Weeks after unnecessarily killing a sovereign leader (no such thing as redemptive violence). And our border crisis. Education under-funded and unequally funded. It has been an anti-life conversation.

Everyone should have someone like Rhonda Chambers in their life.

Today she asked if there was any way she could convince me to be Methodist. 😁 (Last semester someone wanted to make me Pentecostal). I told her you have no idea what this means to me to hear churches like me. Baptists like me too.

I jokingly (but I wasn’t joking) said now I know God likes me.

Rhonda took me by both arms and had me look at her. She said the most beautiful words, and I will cry if I write them. But she emphasized God has always liked me. Always delighted in me. Was always by my side- and it has always been true my whole life. I found myself wanting to hug her and do other things than take this truth in. It is hard for the younger Lindsay to hear these words and believe them. I know I am in seminary for many reasons, but one is for God to tell me how much God has liked and loved me my whole life. This is huge when I have felt so rejected for so long.

When I tried to write my pain about what was happening in soccer-and what was happening politically – I was met with silence. Even people who agreed with me would only message me privately b/c my pain was too controversial. Theirs was too, and that is why they couldn’t communicate openly. Their communities would yell at them.

I told Rhonda Chambers I realized no one in my life cared I was hurting. My pain was too controversial. When I wanted to tell the church we need to change the direction we are on in light of what has been revealed politically – I was told too many people would leave; slow transformation of the mind. What I heard was – we believe you, but you aren’t worth the risk for our community. I cannot tell you how much the silence hurt – way more than the people who fought me back and told me I was unloving b/c I am intolerant of abuse.

I was ignored and shoved aside for 40 years. It took a toll on how I see myself in the world. People wanted me around, but only in a certain context. Not as me. Who I am if offensive to people. But Jonathan Martin on Twitter heard me, and he cared. His words were so beautiful and powerful. I told him I have been in so much pain and his words are what are getting me through the day. He responded and walked me through my crisis for 2 years. I needed this in flesh and blood. I couldn’t follow Jonathan around the country to hear a healing word. I did follow Jonathan to Jen Hatmaker’s church in April 2017- I was desperate for church again. I found Wilshire October 2017. I go to Wilshire, and George Mason hears me immediately. It threw me off. This is not how this works. This shows you the difference it makes when men value women. George built me up, and he wanted to know what I heard and what I was going to do with it. I had never thought to consider that question b/c that was never an option. In the back of my mind, I kept thinking George is going to run when he really knows me.

George never left my side though. I gave him every reason to think I am too much. I told him he is going to channel Paul and rethink his position after he deals with me. 😆

He has been really gentle and patient with me. It is why I trust him, and he can ground me when I start getting anxious.

Also, I thought Jonathan Martin was just being nice to me on Twitter. He would tell me things like: I believe in you; I am proud of you. But now he is part of our Board for the Baptist House of Studies, and he said he adores me and Larry Crudup.

What a healing time this has been. And I know so many need this too. To know God delights in us–and we need to experience this in a human way. What the gift of love and friendship alone can do. It has the power to change someone’s whole world. And that affects everyone around them – it is never just one person.

Here is what I hear God saying now: I love and like you. And everyone leaves b/c of my delight in you-then they can leave.

So many people need to feel this.

I had my first Worship class today (1-22-20). I had no idea what to expect bc this is about order of worship and what is involved in worship (which is free for each church, but I’m not going into details on this).

There is something that struck me powerfully though. It’s how we talked about Baptism and the living waters. We listened to water and were reminded we aren’t in control. It took me back in time – not to my church baptism but my spiritual baptism.

I’ve written about someone we had to let go for very serious reasons, and our souls still ache over the whole situation. Wounds have healed, but scars remain. A year after the situation happened we steadied ourselves a bit – not exactly living fully, but stable- but another round hit us—-and it hit us hard.

Jake Bruehl and I were going on a date and a friend alerted us there was something bad about to happen and sent us a photo. Jake called the person, and they lied. We were at a restaurant by the water. I looked out at the water and couldn’t leave it for the longest time—even when I couldn’t see it; I could hear it.

At this point, I was done. I didn’t think it could get worse, but it did. We couldn’t leave this lie alone either. We had to do something. My heart was broken, and I knew more fall-out was coming dealing with this too. I couldn’t understand why everyone was not only leaving, but it was incredibly cruel. I hate talking about it, but it has shaped me in ways that I have to own it as part of the story.

It didn’t go well. Went worse than I even anticipated.

The water gave me insight on what to write in a moment I couldn’t say anything. I wrote that being near the water calms me, but it also reminds me this gift of peace can turn into a violent storm. Water reminds me to come and rest, but also WATCH OUT!

Richard Rohr caught me at this point with breathing underwater. He said we often think we are through the hardest part, but it’s not done working on us.

Every date Jake and I went on – it was the only way to get me out of the house – was to go to a place near the water. Even when I first joined Wilshire our dates had to be near water. It calmed me in ways nothing else could.

Then Jared Jaggers gave this beautiful sermon on baptism last January (2019). The way he told the story I felt myself in the eunuchs place when he came out of the water. I think this is the moment I came out of the water too. It was a transcendent moment for me.

It was as palpable as the moment I told Jake we have to let go of everyone, and I felt the raging storm still into a light rain.

So it was a powerful moment for me in Worship today. I remembered my baptism. It is no small thing.

Today was also the first time I said “start a mutiny” in years. This was before class! I found new life for all of the Mutiny work I have done. It mattered. All of it – the pain too.

I watched a really interesting interview with Matt Chandler and John Piper from 2009. Matt Chandler from Village Church in Flower Mound, TX (SBC affiliated)- his church is in trouble for sexual abuse of a minor and how he carries out church discipline – namely regarding women leaving their abusive husbands (but that is not all)- this is another well-known abusive pastor in TX and I share b/c it is important to know this. John Piper is with Desiring God and tweets all kinds of abusive misogynist BS all the time. Both pastors are Calvinist- this is worth noting.
What I find fascinating before he gets to how unapologetically complementarian he is- is how his journey got to where he is. I think this needs to be made known.
First of all, his mother is the Baptist who married what Matt labels a “pagan” father. His father was in the military and angry at God. He also abused his family. This grabs my attention immediately. I think this is most likely a common theme with abusive pastors, but I am speculating. St. Augustine had an abusive father too. Weird how they tend to shun women as they crave their father’s love. Matt mentions he wanted his dad to love him. He also was not interested in his faith b/c by his mom staying with his dad – he felt faith kept him in an abusive home.
This right here I want to highlight how damaging it is for women to stay in abusive relationships. It hurts themselves and their children. But it was ingrained in her to stay b/c of false teachings based on a bad understanding of scripture, and so many women stay. St. Augustine’s mom stayed too. Apparently, father converted on his deathbed- but this is nothing to praise in light of abuse. So interesting that Matt disciplines women for leaving abusive husbands now that I know this. (Terrible always, but this is what he saw too as normal).
Then Matt ends up at Hardin-Simmons University, and here is what he says–he says the school has a liberal bend (NO THEY DON’T) and he says they are smart about their liberal bend by dressing it up as questioning. Oh my gosh! He says they get the Bible wrong with their questions (and that makes them liberal)- b/c Matt knows the Bible more than anybody with certainty.
I need to back up and say he found “God” through some friend in high school proselytizing to him. And he weirdly has people surround him for answers about the Bible- in HS and in college. He wasn’t even going to study the Bible in college.
But apparently his questioning of Hardin-Simmons got him popular. He ends up at Grace Bible church leading Bible study, and doesn’t know what to preach so he starts taking Bible classes. His audience grows from 200 to 2,000 when he is a sophomore in college (not in seminary, but undergrad). This seems significant to me.
This church was also located in the center of a Baptist, Methodist and Church of Christ church (hitting all of my people now, Matt) and he starts giving his version of the Bible (with no theological training) and says “some people say”-calling out all of our churches in general – he could be talking about any of them
Then!.
His position at Village church he wasn’t even seeking. He thought the fact he was Calvinist and hard-core complementarian would keep him out. He thought they were too showing and heading in the direction to accept women. They wanted him to apply, so he did and he didn’t even pray for it.
I am no fundamentalist – not by a long shot. But there are fundamentals to being a faith leader, and I don’t think I am out of bounds saying a minister should pray and discern their calling. Not throw their application in the mix b/c someone asks you to and now you are running a megachurch that is in a heap of trouble now, and the SBC is still having him speak at this very minute addressing sex abuse in church. He and JD Greear are addressing the facts and myths of sexual abuse. Isn’t that special?
This makes my blood boil.

You can look this interview up on YouTube. I think it is important to hear what was said, and why Village Church is who they are now. (This is not a judgment on the members of this church-but the members do need to understand this background).

I realized this week that I am a Baptist because of Martin Luther King, Jr. He and his wife, Corretta Scott King, are two of the greatest prophets America has ever had. I became a Baptist two years ago in a state of mourning, and now my heart is filled with joy. But this does not mean I am content to live in my happy bubble while other people continue to suffer.

I will admit I started out as a person who loved to find her favorite Martin Luther King quote and post it each year on this day. While there is nothing inherently wrong with that, it reduces him to a bunch of quotes versus a way of life. Dr. Freddy Haynes, III said in King’s death we froze him as a dreamer. He was more than a dreamer; he was a drum major for justice. This is truth. Freddy’s son said Martin Luther King Jr. made people uncomfortable, and when asked to scale it back – even by his own people- he was undeterred. He wasn’t someone who was maintaining the temperature, he was setting the thermostat. That is a word!

Here is what starting out finding quotes did for me though, I started going deeper each year. I wanted to find quotes no one had heard before because they were getting whitewashed and losing the power those words actually held. In doing this, I started finding out more about his life and I wanted to be like him. I was tired of just the words. I wanted to live those words. These are words of fire- and not to make us comfortable-they make us alive.

I did not know how to get there in the life I was currently living. I tried to support causes that elevated his work, and I did not take the day off as a leisure day to avoid the work he started. But I never knew the reason I was unable to go further is because the bubble I was living in wouldn’t let me go where I wanted to go. So I felt stuck and stayed where I was anyway – until I couldn’t.

2015/16 are pivotal years that changed me forever. There have been moments that I knew life would never be the same – 9/11 being one of them, but 2015/16 was something more. I found myself trying to tell people about a sexual predator (a child predator, no less) and finding myself in conversations of lets agree to disagree over a child predator. Never mind we knew they guy and love him-we still do. But, there are boundaries that have to be set up to protect ourselves and our children. Our hearts were broken and no one cared.

People aren’t leaving church because they aren’t entertained. They are leaving because the theology we have been handed has been a theology of terror.

Trump was now a viable candidate and it was beyond my imagination how my world was justifying this man. What he said about Mexicans, his rally where he called Colin Kaepernick an SOB, made fun a disabled reporter, has raped and violated women with his actions and words, DACA, the border crisis, and the list goes on.

I was so lost and depressed. The silence from church on sexual violence broke my heart in ways that I don’t know will every heal completely. I know now that is ok, because even when Jesus was resurrected-he still bore the scars. But now these scars have turned into a way of life for me. A way into deeper living and learning how to love even when that love is not returned. I have found the people who love me back, and are helping me become who I was born to be that was denied  me previously because I am a woman. How did this happen? Martin Luther King, Jr.

When I heard the silence regarding women from church, I finally could hear much more clearly than I did before the voices my brothers and sisters of color have been telling me for years regarding racism. It is one thing to know racism exists and contribute to causes to raise awareness (and share quotes); it is another to join in solidarity together and work to end it. I don’t like using the term people of color, but so many groups of people are represented- Latino/a, Native Americans, black lives, poor people (who tend to be people of color, but there are a lot of poor white people, and King was marching with them when he was murdered by white supremacy).

My husband is Native American, and his family was colonized by this nation. I am studying and working on decolonializing myself and decolonizing his family. Hard truths have been discovered like Abraham Lincoln being the worst friend to Native Americans. What he has done to the Dakota Indians cost more lives than any other US President. And Andrew Jackson was the absolute cruelest with the Trail of Tears (Indian Removal) and was a slaveowner. Our cotton fields were lands stolen from Native Americans. I have pictures of me as a little one in the fields of cotton that I have always thought were cute. I had no idea. But my grandpa was a poor white farmer with no agency of his own to know either. This is what happens when we are educating people with only one point of view. Power used for evil needs this to thrive.

When I came to Wilshire Baptist Church, desperate to find a church that knew this world existed and needed help, I heard Reverend Barber was coming to town for MLK Jr weekend. It was only a few weeks away. The Shabbat I attended where several other faiths were represented (and I heard reading from their Scripture), people from all nations (and we are all Americans too), all sexual identities and orientations, disabled people (including Reverend Barber!), etc. is the most powerful moment of my life. This is the spirit of King that we not only celebrate, but continue his work that is not finished. This is the moment I knew I had found my home in a Baptist Church, but not an exclusive Baptist Church. A Baptist Church that joins the story of the world – like King. (it is not accident his last name is King; a different kind of King)

Reverend Barber has brought back the Poor People’s Campaign: https://www.poorpeoplescampaign.org/.

Because of King my life has gone into territory I never knew I could go. I don’t take this lightly. In Washington DC at the Alliance of Baptists Conference we repented of our sins for what done to Native Americans, and that our country was built on the labor of black bodies in slavery. Here are the statements.

It is no accident I got participate in this repentance declaration with a diverse group of people who believe in th gospel in the here and now-and I got to do it in the age of Trump. Here is me with my times up face with the White House. I would like to add we need a statement apologizing to women too- and disabled brothers and sisters, and LGBTQ+

What I am trying to say is every event I have attended that has been full of diversity have been the most powerful experiences of my life. I have lost nothing joining the family story; I have gained everything. Now I am in seminary learning from professors from all over the world, and Scripture is so much richer to me because of it. They love and value me too. I think about the words of Amos when he pleads with Israel: Hate evil, love good; maintain justice in the courts. Perhaps the LORD God Almighty will have mercy on the remnant of Joseph. (5:15) We can turn this around America. We also need to change our language that has been male-dominated. Scripture is not inerrant in the sense that everything written is exactly right. It is powerful because faithful people wrote in their time and place with the Empire on their necks trying to figure out where God is and what went wrong. The story isn’t over.

Here is a quote for this year, and that I will spend my life working to make the dream a reality:

“When we look at modern man, we have to face the fact…that modern man suffers from a kind of poverty of the spirit, which stands in glaring contrast to his scientific and technological abundance; We’ve learned to fly the air like birds, we’ve learned to swim the seas like fish, and yet we haven’t learned to walk the Earth as brothers and sisters…”

― Martin Luther King Jr.

 

Today was the third annual King Teach In. I have been every year, and I leave not only inspired, but empowered to be a part of the change—to continue the work of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.  whose work is not done. I read the book by Reverend Dr. Barber, II with Jonathan Wilson-Hargrove, “The Third Reconstruction-How a moral movement is overcoming the politics of division and fear”, prior to coming to Wilshire Baptist Church a little over two years ago. I learned a lot about King’s life from this book, and I was excited Rev. Barber is picking up where Dr. King left off and brought back the Poor People’s Campaign. I told Heather Mustain and George Mason that Reverend Barber was someone who inspired me to not only stay in the faith, but work to be a part of the change. Here is this story:

MLK Jr is the first event I attended as a member of Wilshire Baptist Church, and the only event I have attended every session that Wilshire and Friendship-West Baptist have offered- I got here just in time to be at the start and watch it continue the good work each year. I am creating my own history with Wilshire, and I love that I am a Baptist – and MLK Jr is the reason why. My journey through my own suffering led me to the comfort of  Martin Luther King, Jr. He is helping me hear the suffering of others through his words too. He didn’t live long enough for me to see him in person, but Reverend Barber taught me so much about him- Dr. Freddy Haynes, III has too. Rev. Barber says that part of being a pastor is touching what hurts. In America, we have a weird relationship to the word touch, but Jesus’s healings often involved touch. There is a good touch-the kind that heals. These conversations we have at each King Teach In’s touch on the pain of those who suffer.

Here is year two:

Now we are at year three with a lot more to talk about: the border, LGBTQ+, women, xenophobia, etc. We have to recognize our privilege in every possible way to make sure we are not part of what is feeding empire that is exploiting the poor. If we have privilege, we should use it to pick up a brother or sister and help them receive justice. Justice for everyone is good for everyone. If anyone is denied justice, none of us have justice.

We need to be vocal that poverty is violent. We are creating systems where people cannot thrive, and we are ignoring them living in our bubbles because we have the poor sectioned off out of sight. Martin Luther King says violence is the language of the unheard.

It was interesting hearing MLK Jr. speak so boldly against war in a video today. He was adamant that war is wrong. We cannot murder hate. War dulls the conscience. He had a really hard time getting people to focus on injustice in times of war. His faith and experience revealed to him love and nonviolence are the only way to heal and make change.

Dr. Freddy Haynes, III: Dr King was more than a dreamer; he fought against the American nightmare of injustice and economic exploitation.

Freddy’s son also led with a great speech at the beginning. He talked about Martin Luther King in a powerful way. He talked about the marches held in honor of MLK, and he said there is a march MLK Jr. didn’t get to see this past week (while he was alive)- the March of the Articles of Impeachment. White supremacy is going to trial.

George Mason: Reflecting on what kind of pastor he was going to be considering the how the Pastors responded to MLK Jr in the Birmingham jail – for the person behind the barb wire, or working for the one who put the barb wire up. George also said- pastors do not get in trouble for generalities; they get in trouble when they get specific.

Word!

Here are my FB posts after the event:

Before I post about today’s MLK 2020 Teach In, I want to say something about Martin Luther King Jr. and how he was working for everybody. Economic justice was of utmost important to him. He was anti-war (anti-violence in every way) because of his faith in Jesus Christ. This put him at odds with the NAACP, because Lyndon B Johnson had passed the voting rights act prohibiting racial discrimination in voting. They did not want to cross a President who had been the most favorable president for their rights – even though this president was racist and not a true friend, but he is a President that did pass policy that helped them. This is really important to know. Martin Luther King’s faith created change. This is why he did not live very long.
Mike Pence made the statement awhile ago that MLK gave his life away-which is the same language we use for Jesus. We need to stop saying that, because they were killed. They did not readily hand over their life to death – they were living their lives, and believing God’s way for the world is justice. I don’t know how the Bible can be read without seeing justice as a theme. Justice is what love looks like out loud.
As a woman, it isn’t lost on me that I found my freedom through Martin Luther King Jr. I had no voice in the church until I found the church I am in, and the first event I participated in was MLK Jr weekend and it was a gift to my war-torn soul.
I am very well aware of my white privilege and I am trying to use it for good, but let me tell you a little more about Jake Bruehl and my financial situation. It was terrible, and for all the judging we do on the poor-acting like they have some control over what happened to them when systems are working against them- let me tell you about people who are working hard (and you know they are working hard) and the financial burden we are facing. Our financial burden was growing increasingly burdensome. I wasn’t ready to face the fact we might get pushed out of Sachse. Our system is pushing out the public servants. Jake’s salary never increases – often it decreases b/c we bear the burden of increased Health care costs, higher property taxes, and teachers always make a very low living wage. I spent a ton of time helping him build teams in the club soccer world to help compensate our salary-he couldn’t do it alone, but I go paid zero dollars for it. My part-time job was pennies compared to the bills that were mounting.
It wasn’t until I got to Wilshire and seminary came up that I confessed we were struggling. Help came when I finally told people what was going on. When a teacher’s salary is the primary source of income -it isn’t going to work. Is this the kind of world we want? We pay those who are on the frontlines of justice -trying to educate our children and give them the best possible future, but we have created a system where no one wins. We pay teachers so little. We do not fund schools equally (racism is at play). Our alternative schools, where kids go when they get in trouble in school, are treating our children like criminals. We have a serious problem. And the military is recruiting our kids in high school promising them a future.

Martin Luther King Jr would be appalled. He said war dulls the consciousness. We can’t get people to focus on systems for justice when war is at play. It is a money maker, but also a system that kills our social uplift and it will lead us to a spiritual death.

He is speaking again. We need to listen and repent.

Another one:

I am leading discussion on Amos tomorrow in Bible class. I can’t think of a more appropriate prophet to discuss on MLK Jr. weekend.
I talked to Kristen from Friendship-West about a mashup title I have for tomorrow’s lesson (Amos and King) – she loved it.

I have a dream that justice will roll down like waters, and righteousness like and ever-flowing stream. Free at last, Free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last.

 

My first one 🙂

I have something to say about today, and I will when I get home and Re-listen. Today’s MLK Teach In was as powerful as the first time I went 3 years ago. It’s the very first event I went to with Wilshire, and feels like a Happy Anniversary to me and Happy Birthday Martin Luther King Jr. this is when I became a Baptist – The MLK Jr kind. There’s so many reasons why, But number 1 – he takes the gospel seriously and it matters right here, right now.
I showed up at Wilshire slightly over 2 yrs ago a worn out soul. Heartbroken but believing I found hope, and I just unloaded on Heather Mustain and George Mason. (Free 30 min therapy). I told them all of these people I had read that made me still believe in faith – Reverend Barber was a name I mentioned. Heather said -he’s coming over MLK weekend. That’s when I knew I found home, and it was incredible being in the same room with Rev Barber in Temple Emanu-El with people of all faiths, race (I know that’s a social construct, but America set up this way so have to address it), everyone welcome -meant everyone.

 

 

First day of New Testament II. I was a little sad this morning because my first semester professor is on Sabbatical- love Dr. Sze-Kar Wan, but Dr. Abraham Smith is great too. Plus, I have a ton of friends in this class this semester. Yay! I really enjoy everyone at school so much. Makes me so happy. My first class with Trent Juarez! 🙌

Before I came to class I saw a tweet from a Christian leader who prayed with the Pope and leaders from two other faiths-praying for peace, and he believes our prayers will knot us together. What was notable about the picture – NO WOMEN. This really matters.
A lady responded saying that she hopes God responds that they need to hire women. He responded with his regret that women were underrepresented – all three faiths brought 5 people and 1 woman in each group. (If that is even true, women were not in the picture-so I guess they didn’t get to pray?) He admits it is lamentable, but women are not in the higher echelons of leadership in each faith unfortunately. He hopes that will change. She responded to him that it is because it is a boys club.
I was really glad she responded boldly to him, because worldwide there is a humanitarian crisis against women. Listen to the rhetoric towards women in our political conversation-and how we pay very little attention to the women in the Bible and their experience.

Why did I include that in my NT post? Because we talked about Paul today. Talk about someone who has influenced Christianity profoundly – and we can’t agree on who he exactly is because what is written in Scripture is not consistent about him.
Our professor is offering a fun paper to write that will be super awesome to write, but I cannot get that earlier tweet out of my head. Dr. Smith is also offering an exegesis paper if we decide to do that instead, and women is one of the hot topic passages. I think I might have to write an exegetical paper – even though they make me crazy. Whoever the real Paul is- his legacy hasn’t been good for women. But my friend Aaron Reindel told me on All Saints Day that Paul would have liked me. We would fight, but we are both contending for the faith. I think Paul told Aaron this so I will be generous in class. 😆I also told my professor, and he said this is rich. I love my new professor already! He is really fun.

Somehow we need our faith to move forward and use women fully. We are not help-mates in the sense that we are men’s little helpers. Ezer (Hebrew word for helper)- is also a term used for saying God is my helper. We don’t treat God the way we do women when we say God is my help. Something to think about.

I look forward to another fun and robust semester- sharing what I learn. I am happy to converse too. This helps me grow and think. I want this to transform us and help us take scripture more seriously, and also question why we do things the way we do. Does it give life to everyone? Is it good news for everyone?

This is not a Women take over the Men speech. That gets so OLD! I work with a lot of men, and none of them would say I am trying to get them over. Right, men in my life? Tell them I am not taking you over. 🤣

Also, I went to see my OT professor, Dr. Jack Levison (also fellow church member) with my friend, Cheryl. We had a great time catching up just for fun. Cheryl went to Israel and I loved hearing about her experience. I talked about sharing with the incoming students at Perkins this past week and how healing it was for me. It felt like a redeeming moment from what had hurt so much.
Jack was surprised by the connection I was making to my past experience. When I explained it he suggested I get the book “The Body Keeps the Score”. It talks about the impact trauma has on our bodies. It remembers what happens to us. Then I read two quotes on Twitter right after we had this conversation.

Tonight I was reading a heartfelt post from a friend. She hit on something I have been noticing myself, and my heart broke hearing it from her pain.

We are a busy world: busy working, doing tons of activities, and even busy fighting injustice. All of these are good things, but they can take over our lives to a point we don’t see the person right next to us. There is no time for friendship. No time to help someone in the depths of their despair because we are so busy doing.

When I was in the depths of grief, it was a lonely place to be. I had friends and family around me, but no one knew how to comfort me. What comforted me was Scripture. Which is so ironic, because I was running away from Scripture thinking I had been fooled. Here is the thing though, I could not pick up and read Scripture myself. I needed a break from it. But hearing someone tell me the story differently was relief for my worn-out-grief-sticken heart. Rob Bell podcasts and Jonathan Martin Twitter sermons, plus books from countless authors (Rachel Held Evans!), got me through my existential crisis. Jonathan Martin in particular was a gift from God to me. He would tweet these sermons that made me want to run laps, and he would talk to me. I found a friend who knew how to comfort me, and he let me lean on him (virtually) until I got back up. He did not avoid me because I am a woman. We could be friends, and I am so glad because it saved me. Also, I cannot recommend his book “How to Survive a Shipwreck” enough!

It was a relief to have people to talk to when I was retreating from the world. They kept me afloat.  We shared joy and pain, and the people I found on Twitter seemed to know me. When the world was getting really bad again, and my life kept crumbling even more-I would anxiously await for Jonathan’s Twitter sermon. I knew it would come; it always did. One day he was a day late. I told him he was late, and he told me he felt like he was a day late. My friends on Twitter were, and still are, good to me.

I needed this in flesh and blood. After two years of listening, it was time to get up and do something with this amazing story I heard. Once Scripture grabs you, and you have had time to let it sink in and comfort, it has to be lived right here, right now. We aren’t waiting for a later date; it is right now.

It is too bad it is hard to hear this story in so many areas of our nation. I live in the Dallas area, and it was hard to find a church like Wilshire. And Wilshire and the Dallas area need more churches to wake up to the gospel again-stop catering to the comfortable. We need to be near human suffering to stay awake in the gospel- This is the quote I wrote by Dr. Harold Recinos on the first day of seminary– in my very first class! The comfort of Scripture led me to seminary too. It is so wild. I will never completely grasp what just happened to my life. I was having a meltdown and now I am in seminary. I told people to put on my tombstone: SHE JUST HAD A MELTDOWN!

Scripture is comfort and brings life when we hear it from the Holy Spirit. It also leads to advocacy. Being a part of the change is life like I have never known before. But I don’t want to get so lost in the work-I forget the joy of the gospel. And the joy is in friendship. We won’t have to strive so hard when we truly operate as friends. This world is hard, and what lies ahead is massive, but God is here. Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 NRSV

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

I am thinking about the people who are like me three years ago-needing personal attention. We need therapists -absolutely, but we really need friends too. People all around us are going through really hard things. And we hardly have time to see our friends because we are striving so hard. Before my life fell apart, I had no idea how hard I was striving to achieve and not lose people. We also had bills to pay, so that is part of it too, but I did not know I was exhausted and ready for it to end. That is the weird thing about it all. I was grieving, and for good reason, but I also found the rest I desperately needed. My favorite part of the hymn “In Christ Alone”:

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This Cornerstone, this solid Ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm
What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My Comforter, my All in All
Here in the love of Christ I stand

All of this is true. I especially feel the “When fears are stilled, when strivings cease”.

I operate in a totally different way now. I am not striving. I am just telling the story. I won’t compete. That puts me in scarcity mindset. I know there are plenty of people who need this story, and we live in an area that hasn’t heard this story. But we have to be friends to hear it. Friendship is the revolution.

I am writing this for a lot of reasons. Teen suicide is increasing at an alarming rate. The number one cry for help counselors and advocacy centers are hearing is loneliness. We are a lonely nation overall. If I did not have my book club-what happened to me in the soccer world with people I thought were friends- I might not have recovered. I am still deeply wounded. Everyone wants to win, and we think friendship is secondary. This means we are overlooking things we should not overlook to serve our own interests. This is our rugged individualism, and it is killing us and our neighbor. Our politics is mirroring this too.

We also have people in our church pews who need us to have time to listen to them. This is not all on the pastor to take on. This is on the whole community. And we cannot rush people to healing. They need our time.

Jesus said love God and love your neighbor as yourself- not as much as yourself, but as yourself. We are all connected. There is no way around it. We experience the gospel through each other. Telling me Jesus loves me and cares about me wasn’t enough until I experienced it through humans. Lets not miss the people right next to us who need us. When we empower others; the world gets better.